Wednesday, July 14, 2021

I have a Bengal and he's a wonderful cat.

 I have a Bengal and he's a wonderful cat. But when I got him, he was advertised as purebred Bengal wild in cage. I like challenges so I bought the cat. He had been handled as a kitten, then sold by the breeder to someone who kept him in a cage, threw females in for him to breed, bit never handled him. When the breeder asked that they make a payment they owed her for the cat, they dumped him back on her. She was afraid of him. He was like a wild animal, fearful, nervous. He was in a carrier inside a bigger crate. She said if I didn't take the cat she would have him put down. Since he'd been socialized as a kitten, I figured if I won his trust, he would come out of his shell. I said I'd take him. I've had him for 5 years now, he was 2 when I got him. Once I won his trust, he became a delightful cat, very smart and very loving. He also became good about other people petting him if I'm there with him.

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Tell them you asked online folks for help. Yes, strict parents might get offended, but tell them first you’re just worried: strict, in your mind, means they’ll scream and yell and punish you without hearing you out first. You’re teenager, learning to get curious and all, and they’d be wise to hear you out. Feel Christian practices are pointless? OK, how did you reach that conclusion, and then your parents can explain here’s how and why we practice that as a family.

Agree w/ Toby’s answer below—make a flower bouquet, a dessert, anniversary card, something that’s a gesture of love. You wouldn’t exist if your parents hadn’t made love, so this helps. Then can follow up with saying you’ve some serious worries and wanted to talk and get it **figured out.** I would be clear you want to “get this figured out” because to strict parent’s mind, this is a problem you recognize and you’re asking their help respectfully.

Ask for their sources. Be Christian, atheist, or whatever: Nobody makes this decision lightly. There is always soul-searching and questions. Your strict Christian parents are merely raising you in the way that makes sense to them. What you can do—went through a similar thing myself around 22 years old—is say you’re not sold on the whole Christianity, why is it important, does Jesus matter when 100 different evils reported on media channels, any questions you have.

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It never stopped. The comparison to other children…mainly my cousins and their achievements. The expectation that whatever pursuit I tried I was going to be the next Sonja Henie (ice skater) or whatever…and then their disappointment in me when I failed. Although my father wasn`t a Narcissist like Her, he was forever wishing I had been born a son and been like my cousin Tim, a Rugby star. The only thing they were proud about was my looks. Even then she would find fault in my nose `it wasn`t distinguished…I didn`t have a hgh forehead (therefore a sign of lowness) my mouth was too big…etc etc…Later, at about the age of eleven when I realised they should never have married and I began to understand that at least I had some intelligence to figure things out I wanted to tell her that it was their genes that had created me therefore the fault lay with them. She wasn`t very intelligent in lots of respects…could only dish out criticism, not accept it.

Even when I had clearly lived a life beyond the more mundane in the family my mother was still continuing to thrust their insignificant successes at me right up until the very end. She never gave me credit for anything including taking care of her and giving everything up for the last eight or so years of her life to nurse her 24/7. She was an ungrateful old bitch but I loved her. Can`t odds that.

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My whole young life I wanted a family. To fall in love and raise children with my love and be a happy family. You know the story. I met my children’s father on the city bus and wasn’t interested but after some persuading we started seeing each other. Everything was great really, we were young and hard working and having fun just making ends meet together. I got pregnant too early on but we were excited. The abuse started then though. He’d push me, shove me and “mush” me in the face. I think too much change had happened too quickly and I just thought to myself that if I stayed good and true that everything would be ok when we had my son. How and why would you not love your own child? Well, I was wrong and he began being abusive and neglectful to our son. It was the worst time in my life and when I finally had the courage to go to the police and courts (about 2 months) I was completely discouraged and let down. They moved right into joint custody and began with supervised visits which ended and I was so nervous for my son to be alone with his father that I decided maybe if we got back together he would be safer. I’d know where he was and what they were doing and that he was ok etc. 

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So how are we to prepare? Especially as THAT DAY might very well be today or tomorrow! We are to pray fervently, to keep ourselves free from sin, and to receive the Most Holy Eucharist as often as feasible.

The important thing in doing all of this is to concentrate on God, and what He is asking you to do, and far less on yourself. Remember, there is salvation only for the truly humble. And what is humility? The truth.

Where to start? First of all by realising that you, on your own, can do little, you need God for that.

If you are not Catholic, seek out the nearest Catholic Church, show them a copy of this answer, and ask them what instructions are given at that parish for people interested in God. The program is usually called the RCIA, it should be year-round, although some parishes just run it on a school year model. But there should be someone there to help you!

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Short answer: No. He was evil, but he had (inadequate) good to balance some of it out. The others didn’t.

Feanor was a tragic figure. Morgoth, Sauron, Smaug, Ungoliant, and Shelob were not, because these others simply acted as expected. However, Feanor had potential to be the greatest Elf that ever lived, and for a while he was living up to that potential. He did not make the silmarils with the intention of causing the greatest bloodbath of all time!

Yes, he had his character flaws, but without Melkor’s quiet lies those flaws would never have amounted to much. Without Melkor murdering his father and stealing his prized creations, Feanor would not have rebelled against the Valar or killed anyone.

Unlike the others mentioned, Feanor needed “help” to be evil. Ultimately he was responsible for what he did, of course, but his biggest flaw was reacting too strongly to what Melkor/Morgoth told him or did.


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Tuesday, July 13, 2021