It never stopped. The comparison to other children…mainly my cousins and their achievements. The expectation that whatever pursuit I tried I was going to be the next Sonja Henie (ice skater) or whatever…and then their disappointment in me when I failed. Although my father wasn`t a Narcissist like Her, he was forever wishing I had been born a son and been like my cousin Tim, a Rugby star. The only thing they were proud about was my looks. Even then she would find fault in my nose `it wasn`t distinguished…I didn`t have a hgh forehead (therefore a sign of lowness) my mouth was too big…etc etc…Later, at about the age of eleven when I realised they should never have married and I began to understand that at least I had some intelligence to figure things out I wanted to tell her that it was their genes that had created me therefore the fault lay with them. She wasn`t very intelligent in lots of respects…could only dish out criticism, not accept it.
Even when I had
clearly lived a life beyond the more mundane in the family my mother was still
continuing to thrust their insignificant successes at me right up until the
very end. She never gave me credit for anything including taking care of her
and giving everything up for the last eight or so years of her life to nurse
her 24/7. She was an ungrateful old bitch but I loved her. Can`t odds that.
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